Sticks and Stones- Relationships Hurt

Sticks and Stones is a free 6 inch crochet square pattern and devotional.

Tested and edited by three super special ladies J Carmen Carpenter, Bekah Doughty, and Kelly Youngblood

Yarn: Caron Simply Soft (or any other light worsted or sport wt yarn)

Hook: G

Abbreviations:

beg- beginning

ch-chain

dc-double crochet

hk-hook

lp or lps-loop or loops

sc-single crochet

sl st- slip stitch

sp or sps- space or spaces

st or sts- stitch or stitches

yo- yarn over

Special stitches: 

FPDC- yo, insert hook behind post of stitch (from front to back), yo, pull through, bring up even with last stitch completed, yo, pull through 2 loops, (2 loops on hook), yo, pull through rem 2 lps to complete stitch.

Bobble- yo, insert hook in specified st, yo, pull through,  yo, pull through two loops (2 loops left on hook), (yo, insert hook in same st, yo, pull through, yo, pull through two loops) four times, yo, and pull through all 6 loops on hook, ch 1 to lock. (You are actually doing the (yo, pull up a loop, yo, pull through 2 loops) a total of 5 times-all in the same st)

Begin ♥

Ch 4, sl st to beg ch.

Rnd 1- Ch 1, 8 sc in ring, place markers on stitch #6 and #8, sl st to beg sc. (8 sc)

Rnd 2- Ch 1, *2 sc in each of the first two sts, FPDC around marker #8 (across the center), 2 sc in next 2 sts (starting with the st behind the FPDC just made), FPDC around marker #6 (across center-see photo),

 (after FPDCs in #8-blue-bead-marker & in #6-cross marker)

2 sc in next 2 sts (using the st behind the FPDC just made, and the top of the sc with a FPDC around it), FPDC around the first FPDC that you made (the one around #8), 2 sc in next 2 sts sts (using the st behind the FPDC just made, and the top of the sc with a FPDC around it), FPDC around the second FPDC that you made (the one around #6), sl st to beg sc.  (16 sc, 4 FPDC)

 (end of Rnd 2)

Note: From now on when instructed to “sc in first # of sts”-always use the beg st as your 1^st st.

Rnd 3- Ch 1, *sc in first 4 sts, (FPDC, ch 2, FPDC) around next FPDC from Rnd 2, sk top of FPDC,* Repeat from * to * 3 more times, sl st to beg sc.  (16 sc, 8 FPDC, 4 ch-2 sps)

(end of Rnd 3)

Rnd 4- Ch 1, *sc in first st, FPDC around FPDC from last rnd that is behind, sc in next 2 sts (using st behind the FPDC just made), sk st, FPDC around next FPDC, sc back into skipped st (behind FPDC), sk the top of FPDC from round before,  (sc, ch 2, sc) in corner, sk top of FPDC,* Repeat from * to * 3 more times, sl st to beg sc. (24 sc, 8 FPDC, 4 ch-2 sps)

 (end of Rnd 4)

Rnd 5- Ch 1, *sc in first st, sk top of FPDC, sc in next st, FPDC around last FPDC, sk st, FPDC around next FPDC, sc in skipped st (behind FPDC), sk the top of FPDC, sc in next 2 sts, (sc, ch 2, sc) in corner, sc in next st,* Repeat from * to * 3 more times, sl st to beg sc. (32 sc, 8 FPDC, 4 ch-2 sps)

  (end of Rnd 5-should be about 3” x 3”)

Rnd 6- Ch 1, *sc in first st, sk st & top of 1^st FPDC, FPDC around 2^nd FPDC, sc in skipped st, sk top of both FPDC, sc in next st, FPDC back around 1^st FPDC, sc in the next 3 sts, (sc, ch 2, sc) in corner, sc in next 2 sts,* Repeat  from * to * 3 more times, sl st to beg sc. (40 sc, 8 FPDC, 4 ch-2 sps)

Rnd 7- Ch 1, *sc in first (on reps-sc in skipped st) st, sk top of FPDC, sc in next 2 sts, sk top of FPDC, sc in next st, FPDC around FPDC behind, sc in next 3 sts, (ch 2, bobble, ch 2) in corner, sc in next 3 sts, sk st, FPDC around FPDC, * Repeat from * to * 3 more times, sl st to beg sc. (40 sc, 8 FPDC, 8 ch-2 sps, 4 bobbles)

Rnd 8- Ch 1, *sc in first 4 sts, sk top of FPDC, sc in next st, FPDC around FPDC behind, sc in next 2 sts, sc in ch-2 sp, (sc, ch 2, sc) in top of bobble, sc in ch-2 sp, sc in next two sts, sk st, FPDC around FPDC, sc in skipped st, sk top of FPDC, * Repeat from * to *3 more times, sl st to beg sc. (56 sc, 8 FPDC, 4 ch-2 sps)

Rnd 9- Ch 1, *sc in first 5 sts, sk top of FPDC, sc in next st, FPDC around FPDC behind, sc in next 3 sts, (sc, ch 2, sc) in corner, sc in next 3 sts, sk st, FPDC around FPDC, sc in skipped st, sk top of FPDC, sc in next st,* Repeat from * to * 3 times, sl st to beg sc. (64sc, 8FPDC, 4 ch-2 sp)

Rnd 10-Ch 1, *bobble in first st, sc in next 2 sts, bobble in next st, sc in next 2 sts, sk top of FPDC, sc in next st, FPDC around FPDC behind, sc in next 3 sts, (sc, ch 2, sc) in corner, sc in next 3 sts, sk st, FPDC around FPDC, sc in skipped st, sk top of FPDC, sc in next 2 sts,* Repeat from * to * 3 more times, sl st to beg bobble. (64 sc, 8 FPDC, 4 ch-2 sps, 8 bobbles)

Rnd 11- Ch 1, *sc in the first 7 sts (counting each bobble as only one st-skip the locking ch), sk top of FPDC, sc in next st, FPDC around FPDC behind, sc in next 3 sts, (sc, ch 2, sc) in corner, sc in next 3 sts, sk st, FPDC around FPDC, sc in skipped st, sk top of FPDC, sc in next 3 sts,* Repeat from * to *3 more times, sl st to beg sc. (80 sc, 8 FPDC, 4 ch-2 sps)

Rnd 12-* Ch 1, *sc in first stitch, (ch 3, sk 2 sts, sc in next st)2 times, ch 3, (sk st, sk top of FPDC, sk st), sc in next st, ch 3, sk 2 sts, (sc, ch 2, sc) in corner, ch 3, sk 2 sts, sc in next st, ch 3, (sk st, sk top of FPDC, sk st), sc in next st, ch 3,* Repeat from * to *3 more times, sl st to beg sc. (32 sc, 28 ch-3 sps, 4 ch-2 sps)

Rnd 13- Ch 1, (3 sc in each ch-3 sp and in each corner ch-2 sp) around, sl st to beg sc. (96 sc)

If you have any questions or need any help- please don't hestitate to post a question :)

© Copyright June 2012 by Cynthia Boylan, all rights reserved. This pattern, in whole or part, may not be reproduced – mechanically, electronically, or by any other means, including photocopying -- without the written permission of Cynthia Boylan. Projects made from this pattern may be gifted, swapped or sold. If you use this pattern to sell items on the internet, please credit Cynthia Boylan as the designer.

Sticks and Stones- Relationships Hurt

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. We have been hurt in life.  We have had real pain. People have not always been kind, and the names/words or acts of others cut deep. It may be a stranger or someone very close to us. Sometimes it becomes like a negative mental tape that keeps playing over and over again in our minds.  We begin to believe the tapes and believe that of ourselves.  Besides the obvious horrible feelings that we get, we are not able to carry out what the Lord would have for us when we listen to these constant mental tapes.  We don’t believe that we are able to please anyone, let alone do something for God’s Kingdom.

When we, as people who sin, commune with other people who sin, we get hurt; and sadly we all sin. Romans 3:23, “for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” At some time, almost every relationship that we have will hurt either intentionally or unintentionally.  Loved ones have a duty to let us know when we are straying or doing something wrong to help us to grow in the maturity of Christ-and many times we don’t see that they have our best interests in mind. Proverbs 27:6 “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

 Unfortunately we cannot hide ourselves away from other people and live a life separate from those who hurt us.  We were made to be around others- to commune with them as we commune with God.  Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him.’”

With these sticks and stones and stones that are thrown at us- we can either choose to throw them back, let them lay where they fall and become bitter, or use them as building material- drawing us closer to our Lord.

Option A- Throwing them back

Of course throwing the sticks and stones back is the easiest option, however we were made to love others. When asked what the greatest commandment in the Law was- Matthew 22:37-40 “Jesus replied, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it; Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’”  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments- loving God and loving people (that includes ALL people, even the ones you are having trouble with).

Our small group is working through a wonderful book called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, and my favorite quote from the chapter we read this past week was “On one level, it’s easy to love God, because God doesn’t smell.  God doesn’t have bad breath.  God doesn’t reward kindness with evil.  God doesn’t make berating comments.  Loving God is easy, in this sense.  But Jesus really let us have it when He attached our love for God with our love for other people.”  He knew the work that it would take to actually love the unlovable and to be hurt by others, yet He asked us to do it anyway! In fact, He ties the love we have for Him with the love we have for others- 1 John 4:7-21 “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.  Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.  This is how God showed His love among us; He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.  This is love; not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.  We know that we live in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.  And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent His Son to be the Savior of the world.  If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God.  And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.  God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.  In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him.  There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because He first loved us.  If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar.  For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.”  Yes, He has asked perhaps the hardest thing of us- to love everyone, no matter how they have hurt us.  The good thing is that He also left instructions how to love them. Luke 6:27-36 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.  If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.  If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.  Do to others as you would have them do to you.  If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?  Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them.  And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you?  Even ‘sinners’ do that.  And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you?  Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners’, expecting to be repaid in full.  But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.  Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.  Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

Option B- Letting them lay and become bitter

This is also another easy option- however it can be very destructive to us and everyone around us- bitterness rots the soul, growing like a cancer and killing every joy.  It is a consuming, ever growing and dangerous sin. Hebrews 12:15 “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

In order to be free from bitterness- you must forgive. Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” The hurt may be so deep that it is hard to forgive- but “in Christ” we can do anything. Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Luke 1:37 “For nothing is impossible with God.” And yes, we may have to forgive those that have hurt us more than once- in fact several times (think about how many times you have asked the Lord for forgiveness) Matthew 18:21-22  “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Option C- Using the sticks and stones as building material

Hard labor- not the easy option- but the best.  Use each and every stick and stone that has ever been thrown at you as building material to model yourselves to be more like Christ. Rick Warren has a quote that I love, “God changes caterpillars into butterflies, sand into pearls, and coal into diamonds using time and pressure. He’s working on you too!”  God is making something beautiful out of our pain.

Ask the Lord to help you look at each criticism and to use it for His glory. With each and every pain and trial, the Lord is pruning us into His beautiful and fruitful masterpiece. John 14:1-2 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.  He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” James 1:2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its word so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.”

No matter what name the world has called you- know that the Lord has His own name for you- and you are precious to Him. Revelation 2:17b “To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna.  I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.” Isaiah 49:16 “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; you walls are ever before Me.” Proverbs 3:3-4 “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.” Here is a verse from a song from Vineyard’s I Will Change Your Name.

I will change Your name,

You shall no longer be called
Wounded, outcast,
Lonely or afraid.

I will change Your name,
Your new name shall be
Confidence, joyfulness,
Overcoming one,
Faithfulness, friend of God,
One who seeks My face.

Be patient with others and realize that they are sinners as you are.  James 1:19 “My dear brothers, take note of this; Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”

And lastly a really good piece of advice that I was given on relationships was when I was hurting and bitter a few years ago.  I called Focus on the Family and a counselor there told me “Not to throw my pearls before swine- but to invest in profitable relationships.”  Yes, be kind and loving to all- but make sure to spend the bulk of your time with those that build you up for God’s glory and limit your time around those that tear you down.  And please- if you are in an abusive relationship- please seek help from a counselor.

Here are a few more wonderful Scriptures on relationships;

Galatians 5:25 “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

Proverbs 10:12 “Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.”

John 3:30 “He must become greater; I must become less.”

Hebrews 12:14 “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”


Here is the link to download the pdf form from Ravelry.